Saturday, April 1, 2017

Fake Poop (DIY Play Dough)

WARNING:  This blog entry may be considered crude by some viewers.  I am sorry if I gross out anyone.

On one of my wall shelves I have a stormtrooper mug.  I no longer drink out of this mug because it has a crack in it, but I still like the mug itself.


Inside I store fake dog poop.  I know this is childish, but I am in fact a 40-year-old child and such things amuse me from time to time.


I like to use these fake poops to freak out my family, my fiancee, or...


...make my dog second guess himself.  However, both my fiancee and dog are familiar with these fake poops and are no longer shocked when they see them.
(As you can see, my dog is very nonchalant with one of the poos near him).


So I decided to make some new fake poop to get that shock value back once more.  I looked up many web pages and YouTube videos on how to make realistic poopies, but most involved Peanut Butter and chocolate syrup - things I do not want to waste, nor do I want my dog to eat if it's on the floor.

So I decided to make some home-made play dough.  The ingredients are as follows:

1 1/4 cup of all purpose flour
1/4 cup salt


Food Coloring (red and green make brown).
Since I decided to make these poops on a whim and did not have any food coloring in my house, I have opted to use some brown acrylic paint.


And a 1/2 cup of warm water.


You'll also need a mixing bowl...


...and a zip lock bag and scissors.


First I mixed 1 cup of flour and the 1/4 cup salt in the bowl until uniform.


Then I squeezed a few drops of the paint and began mixing it in.


I switched from a whisk to a silicone spatula, which made things a little easier as the mixture was beginning to clump up.


Once the color was uniform, it felt way too wet, so I added 1/4 cup of flour to solidify it more.


After a minute or two more of mixing, the dough was easy to handle, but the extra flour made it lighter in color.


So I added an extra drop or two of brown paint and kneaded the dough in my hands.


Once the dough was sufficiently poopie color, I put it in a zip lock bag...


...and cut the tip off the bottom corner.


Then I began squeezing the dough on to a plate.


POOP!


Gross!


Nasty!


Still Gross!


Thankfully it doesn't smell like poop.  After letting the poop dough air-dry for about 45 minutes I found it was still quite moist.  So I moved the poops onto a sheet pan...


...and cooked them in the over for 10 minutes at 350 degrees.


Once done, I let them cool off a bit.  They are definitely harder now, but still a little pliable.


The drying out process made them look quite dull and, well, dried out.  So I brought the poop poop into my workshop and gave them a coat of glossy clear coat.


This made them look wet again.


Yuck!


Eew!


Nasty!


Gross!


Barf!


[Insert Gross Comment Here]


As if all those poops weren't gross enough, I decided to take it a step further.  And again, sorry for being so incredibly gross.  I'm going to attempt to make some poopie-liquid to work along side my fake poops.  To do this I am going to use some fiberglass resin, the same color paint and a thin sheet of plastic.


I mixed up the resin, hardener and a drop of paint...


...and then dripped a few poop-puddles onto the plastic sheet. 


 Since resin doesn't stick to plastic, I'll was able to peel these off when the resin hardened.


And I think that's enough fake poop for now.


The fake turds look not so fake.  But you can't use the resin liquid-poop on the carpet - it doesn't look realistic.


The resin does work well on hard floors, especially tile with some sort of pattern on it.  Since the resin is translucent, you'll be able to see through it a bit.


So gross!


But so funny when you are able to prank someone with these.


My dog wouldn't go near them at first.


And my fiancee was pissed when she found them all over the house.


POOP!

The ironic thing is, the same day I made these, I stepped in dog poop while cleaning my back yard.

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